Conflict at work is inevitable. People have different priorities, personalities, working styles and pressures. Disagreement itself isn't the problem, and healthy debate often leads to better decisions. The problem is conflict that's ignored, handled badly or allowed to become personal.

Spot it early

Conflict is far easier to resolve early. Watch for:

  • Tension in meetings, or people avoiding each other.
  • Sarcasm, curt emails or copying in managers unnecessarily.
  • Complaints about a colleague made to others rather than to them.
  • Cliques forming or information being withheld.
  • A drop in cooperation between people or teams.

Understand the causes

What looks like a personality clash often has a practical cause underneath: unclear roles, competing targets, scarce resources, poor communication or change that's been handled badly. Fixing the underlying cause is often more effective than focusing on the people.

Separate positions from interests

A position is what someone says they want. An interest is why they want it. Two people arguing over who gets the meeting room on Tuesday mornings (their positions) might both actually need a quiet space for client calls (their interest), and there may be more than one way to meet that need. Asking 'why does this matter to you?' often opens up solutions.

Hold a resolution conversation

When you need to help two people resolve a disagreement, a structured approach works best. These steps are worth taking in order:

  1. Meet each person separately first to understand their view.
  2. Bring them together in a neutral space, and set ground rules: one person speaks at a time, focus on the issue, not the person.
  3. Let each person explain their perspective while the other listens.
  4. Identify common ground and shared interests.
  5. Explore options together, and agree specific actions.
  6. Follow up to check the agreement is holding.

Know your own style

Everyone has a default approach to conflict: avoiding it, accommodating, competing, compromising or collaborating. Each has its place, but most people overuse one. Knowing your default helps you choose a better approach when it matters.

When to escalate

Most conflict can and should be resolved informally. But if it involves bullying, harassment, discrimination or safety concerns, or informal attempts have failed, follow your organisation's policies and involve HR.

The earlier conflict is addressed, the less it costs, in time, stress, absence and lost goodwill.

Our Conflict Management course builds these skills for managers and teams, using scenarios drawn from your own workplace.